Falling in Love with the Source
We all have so many dreams, ideas and visions of that special day you get to tell the love of your life that you are his.
But in our faced-paced society, it’s easy to be distracted by everyday life… and before you ever even get there you can sabotage yourself with questions like, “Is this worth my time?” “Does he really love me?” “Where is this going?”
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I’ve always been a serial “relationship” girl; one minute I’m single, the next I’m not.
Being in a relationship has made me feel secure, but I’ve grown to realize that relationships don’t always give me what I need.
I’ve always fallen head-over-heels, walking around in a daze and creating the perfect vision in my head.
But when we were actually together, no matter how great it was it could never live up to my high expectations.
To try and make things better, I’d adapt my style, my preferences and my beliefs to the mate I was with. In the end, I’d be left feeling sad, lonely and emotionally drained.
I practice keeping my word, being honest with and about my feelings, and staying true to the SOURCE.
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My first real love was AMAZING!
He was kind, patient, loving and sincere. He always had my back and supported me.
But somehow I just couldn’t be happy with that. We were very different: he liked to lay around and be lazy; I liked to dance. He could care less about style; I was addicted to fashion.
He would try to teach me about saving money, and I’d look at him with blank stares. I was always grooming, spending hours getting my hair/makeup/wardrobe just right; some days, he forgot to put on deodorant!
We finally broke up because he couldn’t trust me. I failed to keep a secret, something I never should have been left to protect. Since our breakup, we’ve hung out a few times and I’m always amazed and humbled at how wonderful he is. He’s truly a great man, with good character.
I could blame it all on timing — I don’t think either of us was really ready for the kind of love we had in front of us.
But here’s what I learned: It may not be the right time, but when something feels right you have to fight for it.
Fight for the relationship. Fight for integrity, fight to keep the constant attraction, and give CONSTANT RESPECT to one another.
There are so many perspectives on that story – how I remember it and what actually happened are two VERY different things. It’s like this with every relationship. Now, I’m trying to see things more realistically. I’m trying to better connect with myself and the truth. This means I’m starting to change my stories, my beliefs and my patterns.
Why put limitations on myself? I am a living stone. I am strong, independent and wonderful. Why not choose to love myself? Why not choose to just BE myself? To be one with the self is a quest some never achieve. Less is more in life.
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So how do I learn to be myself? By opening up. By being vulnerable, lovable and honest with my feelings.
This is the ONLY way I’ll ever get what I want from my relationships — especially when I’m searching for the love of my life.
Practice Makes Perfect
Separating the NOISE of life (nasty self-talk, doubts, lingering insecurities and worries) from the TRUTH is one of the hardest things to do. The NOISE is very clever – it constantly sabotages my efforts and undermines my will to be happy or succeed. Why can’t I ever build myself up? Because I’m too busy listening to the NOISE, thinking that will actually fix something. It won’t!
No – instead, I must look at the SOURCE of my joy, peace and STRENGTH. I need to listen to my TRUE voice, my TRUE message and my TRUE feelings about ANY situation.
Many people say, “Follow your heart, listen to your feelings and love yourself” — but what if you don’t even feel anymore? What do you do when if you’re so broken you can’t even imagine those things? I say, instead of searching for an answer, just breathe. Breathe in life. Breathe in peace. Find and speak the Word of Truth. Stay open and ask your SOURCE for help. Speak these words (yes, out loud): “I want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but THE TRUTH.” Open yourself up to it and let it come to you.
Eventually, feelings both good and bad should fade away. The big waves in the ocean will settle to ripples, and you’ll become an observer of your own story. At some point you may find yourself feeling terrible – guilty or sad or angry – but this is good! It means you’re finally starting to see things the way they really are! You can finally hear the truth and use these feelings to move on.
Use your feelings as a guide, but don’t let them take you over. You’ll eventually step out of that river of flowing emotion and connect with a HIGHER voice. The voice that sounds above all the emotional drama. Feel, but don’t feel too much. Think, but DEFINITELY don’t think too much. And stay in constant contact with the SOURCE in ANY situation. Become one with your TRUTH.
The love I’m looking for is already inside of me. He is already looking for me. I just have to shift my vibes and open myself up so he can find me.
I’m excited to build up myself so I’m ready when he does!